It is well known in many Jewish circles today that the mixing of dairy and meat products is prohibited. In other words, you cannot have a cheeseburger! One can eat dairy and then meat, some say immediately after, others by waiting up to two hours. But if you wish to eat meat first and then dairy, you have to wait up to six hours. (Some wait only two hours.) Yet, the biblical text clearly states that when three angels came to visit Abraham, he “took curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared” (Gen. 18: 8), and stood by them “as they ate.” The word “curd” here (hemah in Hebrew) is most likely a type of modern yogurt; “calf” (ben bakar in Hebrew) could refer either to the entire calf (Josephus says he served them “a roasted calf”), or part of it (some rabbinic sources say he served them only tongue with mustard, a delicacy). What is going on here?
Ancient sages were very much aware of the problem of Abraham serving dairy and meat products together in contravention of the laws of Kashrut, and tried to resolve it in a variety of ways: First, they dealt with the issue of angels eating food. A few ancient sources---(like Tobit {12:19; an Apocryphal book of the third cent. BCE}; Josephus {the first century CE historian; Antiquities 1: 11/2}, Targum Jonathan as well as some later rabbinic commentators {e.g. BM 86 b; Rashi})--- specify that the angels did not eat, but pretended as if they were eating; one Talmudic source, however, says that the angels actually did eat, thus following the local custom (BM 86b).
Second, with regard to the mixing of milk and meat, rabbinic sources came up with a few fancy answers:
a) The mixture of milk and meat was forbidden only after the giving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai, and, because Abraham lived before that period, it was perfectly legitimate (Etz Hayyim).
b) Abraham served the angels milk and only then did he offer them meat in accordance with the dietary laws, for, even though not commended, Abraham followed all the laws of the Torah (Kid. 4: 14).
c) Abraham served the angels milk and meat together because he thought they were gentiles who were not bound by Jewish law (Likute Sihot, Vol 5, p.193, n.63).
d) The Meam Loez, the famous Sephardic commentary written in Izmir, Turkey, in Ladino, by Rabbi Jacob Kulli (1864), claims that Abraham stood by the angels, making sure that each guest chose to eat either dairy or meat, and would not mix the two.
In reality, the rule against mixing dairy with meat is not biblical, and Rabbis had a hard time justifying it on the basis of a law that prohibits “boiling a kid in its mother’s milk” (Ex. 23:19; 34: 26; Deut. 14: 21). The original meaning of this law is unknown. Maimonides suggested a pagan background. But the Rabbis, for reasons that are not clear to us, turned this prohibition into a major component of the laws of kashrut that bind many observant Jews today.
Bottom line: our biblical law is unaware of this rabbinic rule, and the sages used an obscure text to justify it. Consequently, many Jews feel guilty today when they consume the two together.
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
ISLAMOPHOBIA IN AMERICA
There is a raging Islamophobia in our country these days. Coming out of the 9/11 tragedy in NYC, and spurred on by the attempt to build a mosque close to ground zero, many people are developing an emotional fear of all Moslems who, they believe, are bent on taking over the USA. The situation is worse in Europe.
Recently, Bill O’Reilly, during a show of the “View,” claimed that “Moslems killed us on 9/11,” prompting two of the women panelists to walk out in disgust. He then apologized, and the participants returned to the stage. Also, in October, a hard-working Pakistani man by the name of Pir Khan, appeared on Chanel 5 in Boston, complaining that his life has been turned upside down because of a false claim that he had funneled money to Faisal Shahzad, a terrorist who tried to blow up a car in Times Square. Pir was arrested but released in July for lack of evidence. Now he faces deportation, and his landlord wants him out of the house. His wife, a Caucasian woman, is also devastated by the turn of events. How does one restore this man’s good name?
It is true that, of the many terrorists who have attacked us or have attempted to cause damage in our country, the majority have been Moslems. (The Oklahoma bomber was not). However, to think that every Moslem is a suicide bomber is an absurdity and a dangerous generalization. I grew up in Istanbul and still have good friends there. I can assure you that my Turkish friends who happen to be Moslems are not terrorists.
These days it is becoming very uncomfortable having an Arabic sounding name in the USA. Many jump to conclusion that the fellow must be wearing a bomb on his chest. From now on, I think, I am going to call myself Robert because I don’t want people to think that Rifat is a blood-thirsty fanatic. But maybe when they hear that I am a Rabbi they will change their mind.
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
Recently, Bill O’Reilly, during a show of the “View,” claimed that “Moslems killed us on 9/11,” prompting two of the women panelists to walk out in disgust. He then apologized, and the participants returned to the stage. Also, in October, a hard-working Pakistani man by the name of Pir Khan, appeared on Chanel 5 in Boston, complaining that his life has been turned upside down because of a false claim that he had funneled money to Faisal Shahzad, a terrorist who tried to blow up a car in Times Square. Pir was arrested but released in July for lack of evidence. Now he faces deportation, and his landlord wants him out of the house. His wife, a Caucasian woman, is also devastated by the turn of events. How does one restore this man’s good name?
It is true that, of the many terrorists who have attacked us or have attempted to cause damage in our country, the majority have been Moslems. (The Oklahoma bomber was not). However, to think that every Moslem is a suicide bomber is an absurdity and a dangerous generalization. I grew up in Istanbul and still have good friends there. I can assure you that my Turkish friends who happen to be Moslems are not terrorists.
These days it is becoming very uncomfortable having an Arabic sounding name in the USA. Many jump to conclusion that the fellow must be wearing a bomb on his chest. From now on, I think, I am going to call myself Robert because I don’t want people to think that Rifat is a blood-thirsty fanatic. But maybe when they hear that I am a Rabbi they will change their mind.
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
REVAMPING THE HIGH HOLIDAY LITURGY
I have been part of synagogue life since I was a little child. I remember attending High Holiday services with my father when I was barely 6 years old; as a teen-ager I led such services as the hazzan kavua of my Orthodox synagogue, and officiated as a Reform Rabbi for more than 40 years. Even though I am still inspired by many sections of the liturgy, I find others dull, repetitive and, at times, even irrelevant. Perhaps, for the next year and beyond, especially now that the Reform Rabbinate is planning to create a new High Holiday prayerbook, we need to rethink the entire liturgy for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
Here are my reflections on this important issue:
1. In many of our prayers, God should be portrayed as a companion, a “co-creator” (Plaskow), or an energy that continues to sustain us. Not everyone in the congregation subscribes to a personal God (theism). We need to make room for the diversity of theological positions in our midst.
2. The reading of the Binding of Isaac (Gen.22) as the Torah portion for the first day of Rosh Hashanah is highly problematic. No matter how one interprets it, for me, the belief that God demands the sacrifice of one’s son as a test for faith and loyalty is theologically repulsive. Instead, I would read the two stories of Creation (Gen. 1 on the first day and Gen. 2 on the following day) not only to indicate the different views on this subject, but also to enable the preacher to talk about the continuous creativity in our time.
3. Even though Yom Kippur is a day of heshbon hanefesh (self-examination), I find the multiple repetition of Al Het (“For the sin we have committed”) and the series of confessions a bit too much. Once is enough.
4. After acknowledging our limitation as humans, and that we are “of little merit,” we then need to stress our ability to overcome our daily challenges. To portray human beings as gnats is not helpful. How many times do we have to repeat that we are sinners? Shouldn’t we encourage people to use their inner strength to do good? Yom Kippur service tends to be a downer. I want people to leave uplifted, re-energized, hopeful. We should have more prayers, like the one entitled “We Rejoice” (p.320/1), that enable us to express our gratitude for what we have, reinforcing our ability to improve ourselves and our society.
5. The Afternoon and Neilah services on Yom Kippur are repetitious and boring. The Avodah service, which recalls the rituals of the ancient priests during the Day of Atonement at the Temple of Jerusalem, is totally irrelevant today. Instead, we should organize study sessions, and struggle with biblical, rabbinic or contemporary Jewish texts that contain insights into how we could change for the better.
6. Some of our prayers cannot or should not be uttered in these days, such as, “You are just, whatever befalls us” (p. 270). After the Holocaust, I cannot say that any more.
7. Sephardic Jews don’t recite the Unetane Tokef (“let us proclaim the sacred power of the day”), which is theologically questionable in our time, with all the primitive imagery it contains as it compares humans to sheep while going under the shepherd’s staff. Instead, we should read more great poetry, either by the famous Jewish-Spanish bards of the medieval times-at least they wrote sublime verses-, or those written in the modern period.
I realize that this proposal is quite drastic, but if we want to pray with integrity and conviction, we need to have the tools available to us on one of the holiest seasons of the Jewish calendar. Just think about it!
Rifat Sonsino
Friday, September 3, 2010
RELIGION: A RATIONAL APPROACH
Recently, the famous British mathematician and physicist, Steven Hawking announced in his new book, The Great Design, that the world’s appearance can be explained by the laws of physics and without any reference to a “benevolent creator who made the Universe for our benefit.” Some people are very upset by it, because, they believe, it contradicts the teachings of the Hebrew Bible on this subject. In reality, when Genesis speaks of “God created,” it really means “God brought some shape to it,” and it was only in the medieval period that the question of “creation out of nothing” became popular- but I digress.
I am not at all upset by Hawking’s assertions, and my God concept is not affected by it. As a religious naturalist, who assumes that the universe is energized and sustained by a divine power, I pay little attention to the question of how the universe came into being. I leave this discussion to the scientists. I do not believe in a personal God who cares for individuals, who is involved in history and who seems to operate as a capricious deity, responding to the whims of humanity. For me, the laws of nature reflect the workings of God, and I simply try to adjust my life to these laws.
Hawking is not alone in his position. There are many people in this world who are searching for a meaningful religious experience that is reasonable and rational, one that gives equal weight to the emotions and to the mind. I attempted to expound this way of thinking in my book, Six Jewish Spiritual Paths (Vermont: Jewish Lights, 2000) where prayer is viewed primarily as an introspective activity whose only role is to change the individual and not the world around him/her, where religious ritual is viewed as the primary means to establish personal discipline and to connect one to his/her community and tradition, unencumbered by the specific will of God as reflected in biblical or rabbinic laws (God , I am sure, has other tasks than worry about what I eat, drink or wear!), where religion ultimately means a search for meaning and purpose in life, leading to a high moral life in society.
A couple of weeks ago, Glenn Beck, in his “Restoring Honor Rally” in Washington, DC, asked people to return to God. By that he meant, the traditional theistic view of God. Well, he does not have the exclusive rights to the divinity. As a religious person, I too, invite people to return to God, but to a God concept which is in consonance with science and to a God who, as Einstein allegedly said, does not play dice with the universe. If you are such a person, especially now that we are about to embark on the Jewish High Holidays when religious feelings are at their highest, please join me in my religious quest, with a rational approach. And if you have an interest, please check out my detailed discussion in my book on Spirituality. You may like it.
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
I am not at all upset by Hawking’s assertions, and my God concept is not affected by it. As a religious naturalist, who assumes that the universe is energized and sustained by a divine power, I pay little attention to the question of how the universe came into being. I leave this discussion to the scientists. I do not believe in a personal God who cares for individuals, who is involved in history and who seems to operate as a capricious deity, responding to the whims of humanity. For me, the laws of nature reflect the workings of God, and I simply try to adjust my life to these laws.
Hawking is not alone in his position. There are many people in this world who are searching for a meaningful religious experience that is reasonable and rational, one that gives equal weight to the emotions and to the mind. I attempted to expound this way of thinking in my book, Six Jewish Spiritual Paths (Vermont: Jewish Lights, 2000) where prayer is viewed primarily as an introspective activity whose only role is to change the individual and not the world around him/her, where religious ritual is viewed as the primary means to establish personal discipline and to connect one to his/her community and tradition, unencumbered by the specific will of God as reflected in biblical or rabbinic laws (God , I am sure, has other tasks than worry about what I eat, drink or wear!), where religion ultimately means a search for meaning and purpose in life, leading to a high moral life in society.
A couple of weeks ago, Glenn Beck, in his “Restoring Honor Rally” in Washington, DC, asked people to return to God. By that he meant, the traditional theistic view of God. Well, he does not have the exclusive rights to the divinity. As a religious person, I too, invite people to return to God, but to a God concept which is in consonance with science and to a God who, as Einstein allegedly said, does not play dice with the universe. If you are such a person, especially now that we are about to embark on the Jewish High Holidays when religious feelings are at their highest, please join me in my religious quest, with a rational approach. And if you have an interest, please check out my detailed discussion in my book on Spirituality. You may like it.
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
Monday, July 5, 2010
TWO WEDDINGS IN BARCELONA
During the month of June, I went to Barcelona for the third year in a row in order to help out my small Reform congregation, Bet Shalom, with services and lectures, and to officiate at two weddings of temple members, both dear friends. We stayed about two weeks in this fascinating city.
The first wedding (she originally from Uruguay and he from Colombia) took place in one of the suburbs of Barcelona on a Sunday noon time at a luxurious restaurant/function hall. The weather was absolutely beautiful, dry, sunny and in the 70s. Friends of the couple had come to set up the Huppah the night before because the florist was unaccustomed to doing a Jewish wedding. However, they realized that the canopy could not be left alone overnight for fear that it would be destroyed by young people who usually come to the hall on Saturday nights. So, they took it down and set it up again the next morning at 8 am. The outdoor wedding ceremony was scheduled for 12 noon, but knowing Spain, I was sure it would start much later. To my surprise, the bride, in her late 20’s, arrived at 12. 15 pm; she emerged out a fancy car and walked down the aisle accompanied by her father. She looked radiant. The clergy (that is, the Cantor and I), the groom, 31, and the wedding party were already waiting under the Huppah.
Once the religious ceremony was completed, we all adjourned to the gardens for cocktails. For many people in attendance this was their first Reform Jewish ceremony. I received lots of complements from many Orthodox Jews who were present about the egalitarian nature of the Reform Jewish ritual. They specifically liked the fact that I used both Hebrew and Spanish during the liturgy. This wedding ceremony did wonders for my congregation because it proved to the Orthodox that our religious ceremonies are within the broad spectrum of traditional Judaism.
The cocktail hour lasted until about 3 pm, and then we were invited in for lunch. The food was outstanding, considering the fact that there were about 180 in attendance. In between meals, we had Israeli dancing and Latin music by a DJ. People went wild. Around 5 pm, not one but three consecutive desserts were served. Each table was then asked to make a toast for the groom and bride. The wedding cake showed up around 6 pm. Then a band of Mariachis came to entertain the crowd, surprising both the bride and the groom. (It was arranged by the groom’s parents). This was followed by more music, including rock’n’roll, American style. We did not leave the party until 9 pm. It was a long day but a beautiful one.
The second wedding took place the following Sunday late in the afternoon in one of Barcelona’s fancy mansions. The couple, in their 40’s, decided to have an extended cocktail with tapas following a religious ceremony in an open patio-garden. Again, the weather cooperated. For the majority of the guests this was their very first Jewish wedding. They were fascinated by the beauty of the ritual and by the tone of informality I created during the service. A jazz band entertained the guests, and a friend of the couple sang a few songs in English, but also one or two in Ladino. The bride and the groom exuded much happiness. The food was superb. We all took part in Israeli dancing and spent many hours talking to friends. I was approached by a lot of people who were curious about Judaism and Jewish wedding customs. I also answered questions regarding Israel and the Palestinians, and was delighted to find out that I was among people who were very supportive of Israel. This is note-worthy, because the Spanish tend to side with the Palestinians.
Just before I returned to Boston the local papers revealed that during the Second World War, General Franco ordered that a list of all Jews living in Spain be compiled, and this list of 6000 names were ultimately turned over to Himmler in Germany. This second wedding proved that Israel does have a few friends in Spain now, but could use lots more.
Rabbi Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
The first wedding (she originally from Uruguay and he from Colombia) took place in one of the suburbs of Barcelona on a Sunday noon time at a luxurious restaurant/function hall. The weather was absolutely beautiful, dry, sunny and in the 70s. Friends of the couple had come to set up the Huppah the night before because the florist was unaccustomed to doing a Jewish wedding. However, they realized that the canopy could not be left alone overnight for fear that it would be destroyed by young people who usually come to the hall on Saturday nights. So, they took it down and set it up again the next morning at 8 am. The outdoor wedding ceremony was scheduled for 12 noon, but knowing Spain, I was sure it would start much later. To my surprise, the bride, in her late 20’s, arrived at 12. 15 pm; she emerged out a fancy car and walked down the aisle accompanied by her father. She looked radiant. The clergy (that is, the Cantor and I), the groom, 31, and the wedding party were already waiting under the Huppah.
Once the religious ceremony was completed, we all adjourned to the gardens for cocktails. For many people in attendance this was their first Reform Jewish ceremony. I received lots of complements from many Orthodox Jews who were present about the egalitarian nature of the Reform Jewish ritual. They specifically liked the fact that I used both Hebrew and Spanish during the liturgy. This wedding ceremony did wonders for my congregation because it proved to the Orthodox that our religious ceremonies are within the broad spectrum of traditional Judaism.
The cocktail hour lasted until about 3 pm, and then we were invited in for lunch. The food was outstanding, considering the fact that there were about 180 in attendance. In between meals, we had Israeli dancing and Latin music by a DJ. People went wild. Around 5 pm, not one but three consecutive desserts were served. Each table was then asked to make a toast for the groom and bride. The wedding cake showed up around 6 pm. Then a band of Mariachis came to entertain the crowd, surprising both the bride and the groom. (It was arranged by the groom’s parents). This was followed by more music, including rock’n’roll, American style. We did not leave the party until 9 pm. It was a long day but a beautiful one.
The second wedding took place the following Sunday late in the afternoon in one of Barcelona’s fancy mansions. The couple, in their 40’s, decided to have an extended cocktail with tapas following a religious ceremony in an open patio-garden. Again, the weather cooperated. For the majority of the guests this was their very first Jewish wedding. They were fascinated by the beauty of the ritual and by the tone of informality I created during the service. A jazz band entertained the guests, and a friend of the couple sang a few songs in English, but also one or two in Ladino. The bride and the groom exuded much happiness. The food was superb. We all took part in Israeli dancing and spent many hours talking to friends. I was approached by a lot of people who were curious about Judaism and Jewish wedding customs. I also answered questions regarding Israel and the Palestinians, and was delighted to find out that I was among people who were very supportive of Israel. This is note-worthy, because the Spanish tend to side with the Palestinians.
Just before I returned to Boston the local papers revealed that during the Second World War, General Franco ordered that a list of all Jews living in Spain be compiled, and this list of 6000 names were ultimately turned over to Himmler in Germany. This second wedding proved that Israel does have a few friends in Spain now, but could use lots more.
Rabbi Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
THE KIDNEY STONE AND MY GOOD FORTUNE
There is a Jewish saying, “You have to have “Mazel”(“Good luck”) in life.” Sometimes when you are in the right place at the right time, good things happen; but also under the same circumstances terrible events may strike you unexpectedly. I experienced this two weeks ago when I had to pass a kidney stone.
It came out of the blue. While I was working on an article at home, I felt a sharp pain on my side that I could not shake off. I tried to walk; it did not go away. I tried to lie down; it would not subside. It would ease off a bit, and then come back with a fury. I was in a daze, not knowing what to do. Is this an emergency? Will it go away? I called my doctor but could not reach her. When the pain arrived again, in the third cycle, I said to my wife who, lucky for me, was at home at the moment to take me to the local hospital because I could not bear the pain anymore. Within a few minutes, the ambulance came, and they wheeled me into the emergency room.
There my luck worked like a charm. One of the attending nurses asked me, “Are you Rabbi Sonsino from Needham?” “Yes,” I said, “I lived in Needham for 25 years.” He added, “Then you must be the father of Deborah Seri who tutored my son; she did such a great job!” Subsequently, when another nurse identified herself as a student at Boston College, where I teach, I could not believe my fortune, knowing that I would be well taken care of by two professionals who had some personal connection to me.
My pain continued. They gave me morphine to help me out. I started to invoke all the deities I knew, from the Babylonian Marduk down, to no avail. Not that I really expected any assistance, anyway. Nature has to take its course. (The Rabbis teach, “don’t depend on a miracle”). After a cat scan, it was confirmed that I did in fact have a kidney stone that was going down through the tubes in my body and two more that were lodged in the kidneys. After sedating me a bit more, they sent me home with their good wishes that I pass the stone soon. To my surprise and pleasure I passed the stone the next morning without much fanfare, and returned to life as if nothing had happened. One of my colleagues later on reminded me (facetiously, of course) that this was the real meaning of the Hebrew expression "gam ze yaavor" (“This too shall pass”)!(The doctors will “zap” the other two soon).
That day I realized for certain that I need to give thanks to God for my good fortune, for every healthy day I have, and to try to enjoy life to the fullest, because you never know what the day will bring.
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
It came out of the blue. While I was working on an article at home, I felt a sharp pain on my side that I could not shake off. I tried to walk; it did not go away. I tried to lie down; it would not subside. It would ease off a bit, and then come back with a fury. I was in a daze, not knowing what to do. Is this an emergency? Will it go away? I called my doctor but could not reach her. When the pain arrived again, in the third cycle, I said to my wife who, lucky for me, was at home at the moment to take me to the local hospital because I could not bear the pain anymore. Within a few minutes, the ambulance came, and they wheeled me into the emergency room.
There my luck worked like a charm. One of the attending nurses asked me, “Are you Rabbi Sonsino from Needham?” “Yes,” I said, “I lived in Needham for 25 years.” He added, “Then you must be the father of Deborah Seri who tutored my son; she did such a great job!” Subsequently, when another nurse identified herself as a student at Boston College, where I teach, I could not believe my fortune, knowing that I would be well taken care of by two professionals who had some personal connection to me.
My pain continued. They gave me morphine to help me out. I started to invoke all the deities I knew, from the Babylonian Marduk down, to no avail. Not that I really expected any assistance, anyway. Nature has to take its course. (The Rabbis teach, “don’t depend on a miracle”). After a cat scan, it was confirmed that I did in fact have a kidney stone that was going down through the tubes in my body and two more that were lodged in the kidneys. After sedating me a bit more, they sent me home with their good wishes that I pass the stone soon. To my surprise and pleasure I passed the stone the next morning without much fanfare, and returned to life as if nothing had happened. One of my colleagues later on reminded me (facetiously, of course) that this was the real meaning of the Hebrew expression "gam ze yaavor" (“This too shall pass”)!(The doctors will “zap” the other two soon).
That day I realized for certain that I need to give thanks to God for my good fortune, for every healthy day I have, and to try to enjoy life to the fullest, because you never know what the day will bring.
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
Thursday, May 20, 2010
BEING AN ADVISOR
With life experience one develops a wider perspective on many issues. You have been there, you have done that, and now you should be ready to share it with others. It is a truly noble attitude and generous commitment. However, the advice must be genuine and disinterested. It should also inspire conduct.
It is beneficial to heed people with experience, whether they are above you or beneath you, for wisdom can be found in any age. According to the Rabbis even God took counsel with the angels when God decided to create the first human being: “Let us create man” (Gen. 1:2).
I have a friend who was very successful in business and decided to become an advisor after his own retirement. He sits with an executive of the company, looks at the operation of the institution, and gives him/her free recommendation as to how things ought to be handled in order to produce better results. But not everyone pays attention to good counsel.
In the Bible, after the death of King Solomon, his son, King Rehoboam faced a rebellion by the northern tribes. They told him, if you ease our burden we will serve you well, if not, we will part company. Rehoboam first consulted with his senior advisors who told him to go easy on the northerners, whereas the younger counselors suggested that he needs to stand up and show them who the real king is.Rehoboam ignored the old and preferred the young. The northerners did not like Rehoboam’s response, seceded and set up their own Kingdom of Israel in the north.
In the rabbinic period, the Sages, having deposed Rabbi Gamaliel II, nominated Rabbi Eleazar b. Azariah (2nd cent. CE) to become the new head of the Sanhedrin. Before accepting the offer, however, he said he needed to consult with his wife; she told him not to take the position but he ignored her advice, and ended up keeping his new post just a short while.
It is exhilarating when your recommendations are welcome and they bring good results. On the other hand, it is frustrating when you give your best advice but the advisee ignores your counsel. There is no way to force him/her to accept your word. Thus you see failure in front of your eyes, when it could have been success. But, as the old saying goes, “you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.” You end up saying to yourself, why don’t they just listen to experience?
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
It is beneficial to heed people with experience, whether they are above you or beneath you, for wisdom can be found in any age. According to the Rabbis even God took counsel with the angels when God decided to create the first human being: “Let us create man” (Gen. 1:2).
I have a friend who was very successful in business and decided to become an advisor after his own retirement. He sits with an executive of the company, looks at the operation of the institution, and gives him/her free recommendation as to how things ought to be handled in order to produce better results. But not everyone pays attention to good counsel.
In the Bible, after the death of King Solomon, his son, King Rehoboam faced a rebellion by the northern tribes. They told him, if you ease our burden we will serve you well, if not, we will part company. Rehoboam first consulted with his senior advisors who told him to go easy on the northerners, whereas the younger counselors suggested that he needs to stand up and show them who the real king is.Rehoboam ignored the old and preferred the young. The northerners did not like Rehoboam’s response, seceded and set up their own Kingdom of Israel in the north.
In the rabbinic period, the Sages, having deposed Rabbi Gamaliel II, nominated Rabbi Eleazar b. Azariah (2nd cent. CE) to become the new head of the Sanhedrin. Before accepting the offer, however, he said he needed to consult with his wife; she told him not to take the position but he ignored her advice, and ended up keeping his new post just a short while.
It is exhilarating when your recommendations are welcome and they bring good results. On the other hand, it is frustrating when you give your best advice but the advisee ignores your counsel. There is no way to force him/her to accept your word. Thus you see failure in front of your eyes, when it could have been success. But, as the old saying goes, “you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.” You end up saying to yourself, why don’t they just listen to experience?
Rifat Sonsino
rsonsino@tbsneedham.org
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